October 13, 1945prev home next
Last night, at 11 p.m., while I sought sleep and rest and everyone was sleeping, Jesus appeared to me, as He always does, dressed in a robe of white wool. In his right hand he was holding a long, rather slender metal chalice. He drew near to me from the right-hand side of the bed. He smiled, but sadly. His smile encouraged me, though, for I grasped that He was not sad about me, but, rather, was coming to me to seek relief. He placed his left hand on my left shoulder and drew me to Himself, while with his right hand He brought the chalice up to my lips, saying, “Drink.” The chalice was full of a liquid looking like pure water. I glimpsed it in the instant when Jesus offered it to me, forcing me to drink.
I drank. What bitterness! Oh, it is certainly not the inebriating chalice of Holy Thursday, filled with the living Blood of my Lord! Sweet, mellow Blood from which I would never have withdrawn my lips...!110 This is water of such a nauseating bitterness that no medicine possesses it. It bites the throat and the stomach, making it turn over with revulsion. It brings tears to your eyes and lasts like parching thirst from burning acid.
Jesus has me drink just one sip... and then withdraws the chalice and explains: “This is the chalice I drank in Gethsemane. I drank it all, to the dregs, and the dregs are more bitter. And this is the chalice which men’s sins fill up each day, and these then head towards Heaven to have Me go on drinking thereof. But I can no long drink anything but Infinite Love. And then, you see, I offer it to the generous, to the beloved ones. Thank you for this sip! I will now go to other dear souls. I bless you for the sake of the Father, Myself, and Eternal Love.” And He goes off, leaving my mouth and stomach searing with poison and my soul filled with peace.111
110 See the entries for March 29-30 and March 31, 1945.
111 We pass over the remaining ninety-seven pages in this notebook (October 13 24, 1945), containing the last twelve episodes and the conclusion of The Second Year of the Public Life, as well as the following notebook (no. 65), containing the first twelve episodes from The Third Year of the Public Life (October 29 - November 8, 1945), and eighty-two pages of the next one (no. 66), containing seven episodes from The Third Year (November 10 - 15, 1945).