January 11, 1946prev home next
I have received a letter from my cousin.146 Very clear. Unaware as he is of the Master’s dictations, he uses almost the same words to exhort us not to abandon ourselves quite blindly to the Dora case, which is very “mixed.” And so it is that from December 5 until today there have been many spiritual or human voices saying the same thing. First of all, the angelic voice, then the voice of a person very much in the grace of God, then the voice of my soul continuously, then the words of the Master calling attention to the instability of the case and its ambiguity and to the dangers hidden therein for the work He is doing, too, with me as an instrument, and then the words of St. Peter....147 And a continuous whizzing of voices saying, “Be careful! For your own sake and Father’s, be careful!” I confess to you that I was happy to see you leave for one reason alone: what Giuseppe is saying from so far away - I mean that this would serve to get you out of this mess....
No, it’s useless! All my peace has been disturbed since this situation has been in the way. In vain I try to get a hold of myself, reproaching myself in a thousand ways for my fear, which I wish to call by other names so as to censure myself even more. In vain Jesus tries to calm me and reassure me. He and my angel reassure me precisely because there is evil in action regarding the thing which is dearest to me.
Do you know that on certain nights I have had to win real battles so as not to have you called in order to scream, “Leave everything! Leave everything! Don’t destroy yourself!”? Or so as not to yield, either, to the desire to start shouting out my fear at home? I don’t know if you have noticed all of this. I don’t know if you have failed to note that on certain occasions - the most recent was that morning when you came back from Camaiore for the last time - on hearing you so “sure,” I had tears in my eyes. Do they speak positively about me? If it is a voice from God, I thank Him for illuminating you in this regard. But I attach such minimal certainty to it that I receive no joy. For this reason I have written my impressions from time to time....
I must be mistaken. I must be bad. I don’t rebel against anyone’s thinking this. It must be one of Jesus’ aims, to have me pray for that woman, the intention not to say exactly what Good or Evil is involved. And no one can force Him to say that. Perhaps He wants the woman to be helped with prayers not to fall into the power of the “other.” I don’t know. I think the woman is unaware of being a prey to Deceit as well. But I cannot fail to conclude that I see in this a whole insidious distraction in regard to the work Jesus is having me carry out.
And once more - and more clearly than before - I also say to you, as does Giuseppe, who from so far away perceives things the same way I do, and the other soul I questioned: “Be careful! Be careful! Put yourself in a waiting position, a position of vigilance. Observe from a distance. Time will provide light - that is, if God does not do so first.” Today, January 11, at 4 p.m., I clearly feel I must tell you this and remind you that Jesus has already indicated that you should not waste time and mental vigor on anything but what has been in your hands for almost three years, and I feel I must tell you that I have the lucid, distinct impression that both St. Peter’s counsel and the Lord’s orders are to make you vigilant in the face of the trap hidden in this case. It would be a real, unforgivable error if, through thoughtlessness, you acted as a lever - or placed a lever in the hands of enemies - to destroy the Lord’s work in the dictations and visions, for which too many snares have already been laid. And once more I ask you to open and reread what refers to Giuseppe and me.... It’s instructive, believe me.
Dora is surely the most innocuous being.... But even Jesus does not deny that she is unable to react and is in a very unstable position. That is what He, the Master, said in the dictation you have. But when the “other” wants to use her to harm us? But don’t you understand that even if he does not possess her forever, it suffices for him to have her just enough to make you appear to be “unable to distinguish between Truth and Lies” so that they will laugh at you in the Curias and so on? But don’t you understand that, as a result, this would bring harm to my case?
Oh, if I could have you feel for an hour what I experience! But you won’t pay attention to me.... And may Infinite Goodness work the miracle of not punishing you and not saying, “Enough!” to punish you. After so much good, you would then really cause me the greatest pain, and after so much holy service to God, you would do Him such a serious disservice that it would not go unpunished in supernatural terms.
Listen to me. Don’t be a child dazzled by a device with multicolored rockets. Listen to Giuseppe, too. Jesus said this: “Let us make the experience of evil be of use for Good.” Perhaps Jesus wants Giuseppe - an eleventh-hour worker, but loved by Him to the point of wanting to save him at all costs and by all means - to be the one to help us distinguish, by virtue of his knowledge of occult forces. Let us not proudly disdain this help, but use it to safeguard the Lord’s work.
I would like you to understand me and grasp my agony, the agony of sensing the Serpent circling around to strangle the Holy Work, an agony bringing cries of horror to my throat which I struggle to hold back....
146 See note 45.
147 On January 4, 1946.