January 28-29, 1946prev home
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During the Night
I was complaining about my excessive suffering. I said, “It is too tremendous.” St. Azariah said to me:
“Why do you say what comes from God is ‘tremendous’? Why do say it is unbearable? How can you say that what is a sharing in Christ’s Redemption is ‘atrocious’? Hell is atrocious. What comes from Satan is unbearable. Only what comes from Hatred can be tremendous. God gives nothing superior to what the creature can bear. Only upon his Son did He increase the weight of his hand. Those alone were measureless sufferings. And yet Christ, who knew their justice, endured them without calling them tremendous, atrocious, or unbearable, for to speak that way would have been to accuse the Father of striking Him without charity.
“The victim souls must adapt to the Victim in all respects. Weep, but do not say that what you suffer is excessive. It is in proportion to what you can bear. And it could increase. But at the same time your strength to endure will grow because love will increase. And an increase in love is an increase in strength. Do you think God likes to see you suffer? Do not think that. As He suffered over the Son of Man, manifest on the cross for the sake of men, He, Goodness, suffers over having to make you suffer. But you asked for this to resemble Jesus, in all respects. And God satisfies you.
“Look at this hour in the world. Do you see how sinful it is? This time was contemplated by Jesus in the last twenty-four hours of his human life. And you, as a consoler, also contemplated. But those who complain do not console! Come on, then! A little heroism! Sing with me: ‘Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit.’ ” And he grew silent.
I promised not to call my sufferings “tremendous” any more.