March 12, 1946prev home
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Tuesday184
I was thinking.... And I was especially thinking about the irreparable harm which would be done to Giuseppe, who had just been born to Grace, if he saw deafness in the Church - he, sinful and sacrilegious, who had heard God in the words coming from Beyond the earth. And for this - and for this alone - I feared an unjust condemnation. I was afflicted over him, and over the rest of the family, too, over Marta and the others as well, who would no longer trust in the judgment and charity of the Church; but over him in particular, whom I had wrested away from Satan with sacrifices known only to God, I was grieving. “Lord, do not allow that to happen in this soul, that is so dear to You and to me! “
Yesterday, while writing to Father Migliorini, I did not remember to mention this agony of mine, to the truth of which God is a witness....185 As I told the “good companion” Raphael to leave me to help Father, and the victorious Michael to defeat Lucifer in his craftiness - which would certainly be used to the full in these days to do harm and bring pain - and the most luminous Gabriel to take God’s decree to the men designated to command, so I said to you, Azariah, my angel, “Go. Go. Speak to your fellow angels so that their ministry will instruct the ones they must judge!” And I also said, “A light, Azariah, one alone, while Satan, invisible, not present, but acting at a distance, sends his stench to scare me!”
And Azariah said, “Open the book at random and read. Comfort is there.”
I obeyed. It opened before me at the first chapter of Ezekiel, from verse ten on. I read and got lost in the beatific vision. And pain disappeared. But there was no reply for me because I am not Ezekiel! I’m a nonentity!
Azariah said, “Forward, forward, until I tell you to stop.”
I read the second chapter and the third up to verse fourteen. The reply came.... Bitter and sweet. Bitter for the world, sweet, very sweet for me because He, my Lord, comforts me....
184 The whole notebook page, beginning with the date and ending with the words of Azariah, has been crossed out with slanting pen strokes.
185 At this point, in the space of a line, in minute handwriting an annotation has been added in parentheses: (My note of December 12, 1947. And indeed, with the help of my martyrdom over the past twenty years, and especially after the clash with Father Migliorini in June of this year, Giuseppe wants nothing more to do with priests.... I just hope for the approval of the Work to bring him back to the practice of the Sacraments....)