March 17, 1946prev home
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In Nomine Domini. Peace be with you.
He came at 9 p.m. with the news - not stupefying, for Jesus had been preparing me for it for nearly a year (Pentecost 1945), and more and more intensively. I shall certainly suffer very, very much. I know Satan’s promise for the final agony! (February 1945). Father must have understood. Now.... One’s heart plunges to the ground on approaching many priests....
In the sea of bitterness, though, there are two very sweet currents and they penetrate me while the other, very bitter waves bite and torture. Firstly Jesus has heard my prayer in these days: “Have me censured rather than allow me to get proud.” I am not - at least, so I believe - censured. But I am not glorified and, therefore, I certainly do not fall into pride. Secondly, in the current trial, aimed at bringing torment to the spokesman, I see Satan as envious of the work, which truly comes from God. I am confirmed as being in the truth because persecution is a sign never lacking for the souls beloved to God, the Most Good.
Now, moreover, I pray to the Holy Spirit to receive “honey,” as on the 12th of this month. And, instead of Ezekiel, Isaiah sweetens me with those words coming from God found in chapter 54, verses 2 and 4, as far as “you will not be ashamed”; verses 7, 8, 11, 12, 14, and 15, as far as “an instrument for his work”; and verse 17 as far as the words “shall be without effect.” Here is the reconstructed passage (see the attached page).198
Isn’t the Lord kind? They can bring about my death, but I am at peace.
From today on, as the angel told me to, I shall start pronouncing mentally the phrase In Nomine Domini before writing in notebooks or preparing a letter and for every one of my actions. He told me to on Sunday, March 3, after explaining Holy Mass: “When this new mutilation takes place and you are no longer defended, except by God - for Father, too, will no longer be able to help and protect you - you shall pronounce the words In Nomine Domini as an invocation before writing letters or in notebooks or effecting any other writing or action, always introducing the sentence taught by Jesus Most Holy: ‘Peace be with you.’ ” 199
198 “Enlarge the space for your tent, spread out your tent cloths unsparingly; lengthen your ropes and make firm your stakes.... Fear not, you shall not be put to shame; you need not blush, for you shall not be disgraced.
The shame of your youth you shall forget.... For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with great tenderness I will take you back. In an outburst of wrath, for a moment I hid my face from you.
But with enduring love I take pity on you.... O afflicted one, storm-battered and unconsoled, I lay your pavements in carnelians, and your foundations in sapphires; I will make your battlements of rubies, your gates of carbuncles, and all your walls of precious stones.... In justice shall you be established, far from the fear of oppression, where destruction cannot come near you. Lo, the foreigner who was not with me shall come; the one who was once a stranger shall join with you.... Lo, I have created the craftsman who blows on the burning coals and forges a tool for his work.... No weapon fashioned against you shall prevail ....” - Isaiah 54.
199 See November 3, 1944, in The Notebooks. 1944: We here omit almost six handwritten pages (dated March 17, 1946) containing Azariah’s commentary on the Mass for the Second Sunday in Lent.